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How To Stay Calm When You Know You’re Gonna Be Stressed

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Bottom line, you are not at your best when you’re stressed. It releases cortisol which is toxic to your happiness and then it becomes habituated.It’s something that we practice over and over again and then we become like these stress cases and I think the world’s got too many of them. Today, I want to share with you my number one hack on how you can put it away and be done with the stress. Listen, you might be watching this video because you are that stress case or you’re married to one or you’re close friends with someone that you’re just concerned about because it’s almost like they’re living still with that two million-year-old brain with worrying about the cyber tooth tiger that’s going to come to jump out and they’ve got that fight or flight going on. And these days people if we practice stress enough, people will get stressed over like the craziest, stupid stuff that’s completely out of their control.Like seriously, what is the point of being stressed in a situation or circumstance you can’t control? Dude, last night, I’m at Taekwondo with my kids andI’m there for like 3 and 1/2 hours and I took my cell phone and all the duffel bags look the same and I put it in someone else’s duffel bag. We get to the end of the class and like the whole business that makes crazy money and keeps me connected and influence on all these things my life is on that phone and that phone wandered off and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I put it in someone’s bag.” And it’s like 10 p.m. and there’s this temptation. Get stressed and you know what at first I did, I’m like, “Craaaaap!” And then I went to one of my techniques that I’m going to share with you just a little bit later in this video and then I calmed down. I went to bed I had a great night’s rest and by8:00 in the morning, my phone was returned to me and guess what? The world didn’t end.Most of the things that we worry about, most of the things that we fear about, will never take place. But because we let them take place here, we experience them as if they’re real and by the way, when you think about stressful things, the cortisol comes up we get stressed, it’s toxic to our happiness and it’s game over. Gary Klein was the first author to write about the post-mortem, right? I mean we all know what the post-mortem is. That’s the team that comes in after a disaster to say what went wrong and what can we learn? But a post-mortem is where you say, “Wait for a second, we know that things are going to go wrong. What can we learn about that and then how can we defuse that here in advance? It’s like having hindsight before something happens, It’s cool, right? Precognition. So right now, think about the things that make you stressed. You already know what they are, like you could make a less list. Your list might be when I’m late, I get stressed. When I lose something, I get stressed. When there’s a fight brewing, I get stressed. When I interact with passive-aggressive people, I get stressed. If my laundry’s not done. Like so you’ve got a whole list of all the things that stress you out and the thing is, you’ve habituated, you practice so much you know exactly what it is. If you know in advance the things that stress you out, what you can do with this post-mortem thinking is put a strategy in place for eliminating the stress in advance. So here’s one of the strategies that I want to give you when you take a look at number one your list of everything that stresses you out, the second thing that you can do is say,”: Okay what’s the worst-case scenario if these things happen?” Like, play it out in your mind. Imagine, that those things happening you’ll lose the keys and you never find them and then you have to order a new set in and it’s inconvenient or you miss your plane and flight. The question, are you still alive? Is your heart beating but you still in charge of your emotions. If the answer is yes to all of those then why be stressed? Here’s how you make the change though.You see, you can put some things in place. like here’s a cute idea that I heard recently. If you know you lose stuff and you know what the same 3things are that you lose, right? It’s your wallet, it’s your car keys and it’s that one other thing? And what you do with those 3 things is you create a place in the house for like, “This is where lost things go and this is where I’m now going to put those things.” Okay, that’s an example of doing something in advance. But more importantly, than that is that stuff going to happen that will leave you stressed your entire life. The question is how do you eliminate stress? And here’s what I want to share with you today. if you made a list and you said, “Losing something like losing my keys is a situation that stresses me out. Losing anything.Losing my bike, losing my phone, losing a child.” These things would be pretty stressful if you lost a child. But if you know that those are the things that create stress then I’m going to share with you my favorite hack for you eliminate that. If you know this is stressful then what you need to do is you need to rip place this idea with a healthy belief that doesn’t release the cortisol screwing your body over. So for example, you could say, “Losing things, it’s okay. I’m okay when things get lost. I’m okay when things are lost.” When something gets lost, “I’m calm” or you could say, “I’m happy” or you could say, “I love experiencing life when something is lost”, okay?These are just ideas. Every day when my kids go off to school, I ask them this one question. Who’s in charge of your feelings? When my child is upset, who’s in charge of your feelings? When my child is stressed, who’s in charge of your feelings? And we often allow our emotions to be in charge of us. So check this out. You might, for example, have a belief that says, “When I lose something, I get stressed.” And think about that for just a moment, right? Like, I lose my keys, I’m stressed. I lose my wallet, I’m stressed. I lose my car, I’m stressed. If you know that that is a circumstance that stresses you out then you could replace that with a different idea because by the way, losing something isn’t stressful. You’ve chosen that losing something is stressful. So you can also choose that losing something like what? You could say that losing something is an experience. You can say that losing something is fun or that you’re calm when you lose things. Like who do you want to be? Who do you want to turn yourself into? Who do you want to beast yourself into when this undesirable happens because by the way, will you keep losing stuff?Yes, it’s inevitable. All the things that stress you out will likely keep on going on. But you are at choice with how you feel about them. Dude my kids, kid you not.Every day, I ask them this one question because it’s a core value in my home.Who’s in charge of your feelings and they all know the answer, “I am”. You see but when they’re sad and I say, “Now, who’s in charge of your feelings?” And they say, “I am.” It’s empowering for them to realize, “Wait, if I’m sad and I’m in charge then I can also change that sadness and happiness.” And so do you understand that you’re in charge of your feelings? You have the idea that stress will change the idea. You could say that when I lose something instead of stress, you could say, “I’m calm. This would be a much better choice because, by the way, calm people think clearly and find solutions. Cortisol clouds and befuddles the mind. We do not think clearly when we’re stressed. So here’s a weird thing is that stress slows us down and calm speeds us up. I’m in taekwondo with my kids right now and if you want to go faster because twice the speed is four times the power. So if I want to be faster, I got to relax. But most people tense up and when you’re tense, you don’t have speed on your sides. But speed is the secret to power and that is the same here. A calm mind makes better choices than a stressed mind. it would serve you and I and everyone on this planet to eradicate stress from our being.Here’s how you do it. So I wrote this book, it’s called Limitless and I created kind of like the ultimate cheat sheet. Your mind is made up of 10,000 beliefs that predominantly run your world. And I took the top 1,000 beliefs that are negative and have nasty repercussions and I replace them all with 1,000 of the most ideal beliefs such as when I lose something I feel calm. That hack and saying that is now going to direct your emotions to what you want life. By the way, in the link below, I’m currently giving copies of this book away for free while supplies last. So if I’ve got some left on the truck, it’s yours just click the link and I’ll be sending that out to you. But this is the Cliff Notes version of the message of that entire book which is you could list out everything that stresses you and you could change the emotion of it. You could change the decision about those scenarios. So let’stake just one more. You might say I’m stressed when the house is messy. if you believe that then the only way you’re not going to feel stressed in your home or someone else’s home or public or whatever is if everything’s tidy.We call you neat freaks for a reason. I’m an X neat freak, okay? So listen, I identify with what we’re talking about here. I used to get so stressed when the house was messy. But see the person with the problem is the person with the problem. But the person with the problem also has the solution.So the solution for you is to change your notion. This idea of uncleanlinessstresses me out, you could change that to say, “Whether it’s clean and tidy or whether it’s dirty and messy, I’m chill and happy either way.” Do you see what that does? It gives you an unfair advantage in life because now you can be totally happy in both circumstances. You are not this conditional human being that says, “I’m happy if then. I’m happy if this is clean. I’m happy if it looks this way. I’m happy if this…” Instead, you want to say, “Hey, I’m happy no matter what. Dude, you can throw me in any circumstance and I know how to be happy. That’s why we want to eliminate the chemical of cortisol which is the toxin to your happiness in your whole system which means we got a deprogram stress. So my friends that is the post-mortem. It is to do this belief in breakthrough work. List out all your stresses and turn everything stressful into a calm scenario. And for those of you like, “Wow, that was useful Kris, we are just scratching the surface. This book I spent a couple of million dollars in the research of writing this book and learning the methodology for how to rewire your brain and my brain to be the happiest versions of who we were meant to be and all of that lies here. So there are currently copies available. If you click the link below, just cover the shipping. I will be sending this directly to you. Get your hands on this book this is the magnum opus of my life of all the books that I’ve written and this is an opportunity for you to take millions of dollars worth of my hobby and actually contains into a short read that will give you the ultimate hack on doing this not just for stress but for every single area of your life so that you can be the happiest, most fulfilled achieving potential of who you’re meant to be.

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